An Egotist's Prayer

Elizabeth Peláez Norris

Lord, make me the center of attention
Like a movie star at a Republican or Democratic Convention,
It doesn’t really matter
If it’s the former or the latter
As long as I share the spotlight with no other,
And Lord, I hate to be a bother
But could you give me an Ogden Nash sense of humor
’Cause unless I’m wigged from a brain tumor there has to be some truth to the rumor
That he was witty in a wacky sort of way
Yet he was cultured, so they say,
For his pearls of wisdom cast before swine fell willy-nilly as from a broken string
Which reminds me, teach me to be humble so by my example humility I’d bring
To those who held me up on a pedestal
And help me be a good listener lest all
Not learn to listen to others as they listen unto me
And David Letterman who gets a hefty fee
  Lord, grant that in this life I may be honored with drum and fife
  Then thereafter in some Wax Museum or Hall of Fame I will truly be born to eternal life.